Lately

Life has been so freakin' crazy lately. Finally, they've calmed down though. But when they calm down, my mind tends to wander. Things around the apartment have been great these past few days. I was offered to go out with our new roommate with he and his friends to go bowling. He's such a great presence compared to who we used to have here. He even offers to go places with me at night so I won't be out and about alone. He's always been one of my best friends, and it's just so super cool that he's living here and we stay up for hours talking about life, boy/girl problems, working out, etc. He treats me, and always has, the way a guy should treat a girl. I just wish sometimes I had the power to instill certain qualities into people so they can be just right. Doesn't work that way though. I'm just glad that I've got him to talk to so I can get a guy's perspective on life. Overall, I'm really happy for both my roommates/best friends for being so happy and in devoted relationships. They deserve it. Sometimes a part of me hates it when I see how much guys care about girls, to where they talk about them most of the time and do so much for them. Not to mention when it's "my girlfriend this, my girlfriend that...." I guess I hate them cause they're guys who have a heart, gave it to someone and don't try to intentionally hurt girls... meaning they think things through and what it can do to her. I often find myself asking God why, for so many years, that I could never be so lucky. What have I done to deserve this? Since I don't have the answers, I must go on and keep living my life a day at a time... because I fear my life may never be the same, and change forever. I hope this isn't the case, but so far, not so good.